As I labored to survive watching this week’s installment of SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD, one thought kept swirling through my head: How embarrassed is Christina Cha right now, watching her adventures on the island unfold? She must be mortified.*
I mean, how stubborn is she? Forget about refusing to see the handwriting on the wall — she denies the handwriting on the inside of her eyelids! I am at a complete loss to rationalize why she cannot see that she will be the first woman to go after the power trio disposes of the now cravenly pandering Tarzan.
If a show has a title like that, you gotta know that someone is going to prove himself or herself to be a dummy. And, since this season is populated almost exclusively by dummies, the odds were pretty good going in that somebody would do something stupid. Actually, a few somebodies.
With Jay gone, Troyzan realizes he’s on his own — and the women do their best to make him feel like a marked man (possibly a little something they learned from the cruel Colton). Troy decides that winning successive immunities or finding the new hidden immunity idol is his only path to success, so he starts hunting for the secret trinket and psyching himself to win challenges.
SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD must be the car-accident season, because I found myself wandering back to my local CBS affiliate to see what the wacky gang is up to this week…
Kim was trying to consolidate her grip on the game by marshaling the women to vote out either Troyzan or Jay — whichever one doesn’t win immunity. She and the rest of the distaff squad are apparently conceding the individual immunity necklaces to the more athletic boys, which is a little strange.
This week’s reward challenge was a do-it-yourself affair, with no Jeff Probst. (What, did he lose interest in this season as well?) The players divided themselves into two teams and took turns tossing bolos at a target for points. Tarzan (of all people) led teammates Troyzan, Jay, Kat and Alicia to victory of native barbecue and beer — but unlike last week’s 7up product-placement reward, no one ponied up for the beer sponsorship.
After being drowned in a tide of 7up product placements on SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD last night — from bottles of the soda to the 7up-themed reward challenge, a visit to the “7up Oasis,” where the winners got food and “all the crisp, clean, refreshing 7up” they could drink, I cannot wait to see who the corporate sponsor will be next week!
The only thing worth watching this week was the emergence of Kim as the new sheriff in town. She swooped into the power vacuum left by the evacuated Colton and had no trouble manipulating her tribe into doing her bidding.
Faced with choosing the alliance she has with all the other women or the alliance she formed with Salani 2.0, Kim decided to stick with grrl power, because they already had a 6-5 advantage. If she could get one more guy booted, the women would have a virtually insurmountable advantage.
I’ll tell you what the beauty in a merge is not. It’s not the hive mind that results. The members of Salani and Monono may have merged into Tikianno, but they certainly did not pool their brain power.
After this week, I am seriously questioning my commitment to watching SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD, because it’s becoming more and more dull as the players prove to be more and more… perplexing? Stupid? I cannot figure out what’s happening, and that makes this show a frustrating viewing experience. How can the players be making the decisions they are making?
And then there were 12…
This week’s episode was really rather weak and anticlimactic, salvaged only by the health emergency that knocked the vile Colton out of the game just as he was implementing his master plan to become King (or Queen — his choice) of the Dumbest Passel of Players in Years.
I would not wish appendicitis on anyone, but… If it had to happen to one of the players on SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD, then no was more deserving than Colton, who has spent his entire tenure on the island spewing hate and chortling with self-satisfaction over the misery of others — much of it inflicted by him. That kind of bad karma was bound to come back and bite him.
Mike and Colton
Colton continued to make jaws drop — on the island and among the viewing audience — with a double-whammy this week: He revealed that he hates little people and poor people — and he volunteered the men to go to tribal council after winning immunity!
This was Leif’s week to screw up. He accidentally told Bill that Colton wanted him voted out last time — which set off alarms in Bill’s head. Mike found out about Leif tipping off Bill and went running to the self-proclaimed ruler of the game, Colton, trying to curry favor. In a rare show of spine, Colton confronted Leif and warned him that his betrayal had sealed his fate in this game. I thought Leif was going to cry.
The women of Salani finally won the reward and immunity challenges, giving them fire and a new lease on life, while the men’s Manono tribe went from kings of the hill to rival princedoms. The gloves came off this week, and I was totally shocked when Colton unmasked himself as a total hater!
Despite winning the means to start a fire, the women discovered that all their kindling was wet, so Kat and Alicia went to the men to beg and flirt for an ember, which the guys promptly handed over. Then, later, when the guys suggested that they be allowed to borrow the boat the ladies had won, the women were aghast and snarked about the men being unreasonable. Huh? Tarzan was right when he pointed out that men and women think differently.
After the thrilling appointment television of SURVIVOR: SOUTH PACIFIC, I was a little wary of SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD, because the series has rarely managed to put two compelling seasons back-to-back. Sadly, the premiere of ONE WORLD seems to bear out that theory by introducing two tribes who couldn’t be more at odds if they were designated “Matter” and “Anitmatter” — or, worse, “Republicans” and “Democrats.”