AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN 3.4: “Fearful Pranks Ensue”

ahscoven3041Nothing like an episode with a tense cliff-hanger, and AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN delivered an ending that left me wanting to know what will happen? What kind of powers do the witches have to fend off the undead?

A helluva lot happened in this episode, and we’re only four weeks into the season. I have a feeling the real storyline has barely begun, because there’s so far to go. There seems to be plenty of time for Madison and the minotaur to come back.
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN 3.3: “The Replacements”

AHSC1It must be difficult for Jessica Lange to choose two shows for her Emmy reel each year because she has so many terrific performances from AMERICAN HORROR STORY to consider, but I think her work this year just got 50 percent easier: This episode absolutely has to be submitted, because we got to see sweet-and-sour Fiona at her finest.

Who are the eponymous Replacements? Take your pick: Madison is Fiona’s replacement; Queenie is Delphine’s replacement; the patchwork Kyle is his own replacement; Alicia thinks Kyle is a replacement for her husband; and Cordelia is unable to create her own replacement.
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN 3.2: “Boy Parts”

AHSC1The Pretty Little Witches take a page out of Mary Shelley by way of The Rocky Horror Picture Show; Delphine LaLaurie is set loose in the modern, integrated Big Easy; and Fiona gets the most sinister haircut since Keri Russell chopped off her locks and got FELICITY canceled — and it’s all in a week’s work for AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN.

The story features three different kinds of immortality: Delphine and Marie Laveau living agelessly, Kyle being revived after death by a mixture of science and magic, and Misty Day resurrecting herself. How ironic that practically everyone around Fiona is immortal when she’s searching for the key to eternal life.
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN 3.1: “Bitchcraft”

coven1It may be an odd thing to say, but the premiere of the new cycle of AMERICAN HORROR STORY, dubbed COVEN, seemed… relatively restrained. Not counting the bloody bull’s head used to make a minotaur, of course, or the girl who kills with her vagina.

Yes, AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN is about witches, but witches who seem more like the characters in superhero comics because they each are gifted with one specialized ability; they don’t perform magic per se — reciting spells over bubbling cauldrons, etc. — but rather use their “mutant” abilities, like telekinesis and clairvoyance. It’s an interesting way to go, but makes the series seem envious of the X-Men movies.
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN Is Booting Up

AMERICAN HORROR STORY is probably the most loopy series on TV, so maybe that’s why big names line up to star. (I think the reason there’s a new storyline every season is because all the scenery gets chewed right down to the ground, so they have to start over.) The latest series, COVEN, has attracted three ladies who have won Academy Awards as best actress in a lead role, so there must be some meat to the characters they will be playing.

The cast includes Oscar-winners Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett, as well as Sarah Paulson, Frances Conroy, Gabourey Sidibe, Denis O’Hare, Patti LuPone, Evan Peters, Taissa Farmiga, Lily Rabe and Emma Roberts.

Check out these awesome (and very atmospheric) posters:

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The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) DVD

Go Klaatu barada nikto yourself!

This movie could have been called The Day the Earth Still…Out of Boredom.

The 2008 version of The Day the Earth Stood Still is a classic example of a “why bother?” remake. The 1951 original is widely regarded as one of the best science-fiction films ever made, so there was absolutely nowhere for a remake to go but down. And the remakers lived down to expectations.

In both versions, an alien spacecraft lands on Earth with a message for the natives. In the original, Klaatu (Michael Rennie) warned that the warlike human race needed to change its ways since learning to split the atom or risk annihilation by extraterrestrial enforcers worried about mankind’s rambunctiousness. In the 2008 version, Klaatu (Keanu Reeves) was apparently intent on informing our world’s leaders that the human race is a pox upon the Earth, and since only a handful of planets in the cosmos are capable of supporting complex life, the interstellar community is unwilling to let mankind squander this one.

According to director Scott Derrickson, this film is supposed to carry an environmental message, but Klaatu himself points out that Earth has reached the tipping point and can no longer be saved, so even if everyone started driving hybrids, it would do no good. So apparently the message is, go green now, before the aliens get here. However, in the movie, the plot change renders Klaatu entirely moot. Surely his glowing globes could have been dispatched to collect and preserve samples of non-human life without cloning Keanu? Surely Gort could have been activated from orbit to eliminate all traces of humanity. Klaatu is a complete waste of time and effort. Klaatu came to protect the Earth from humanity, so why bother with trying to address mankind’s leaders? Is he some kind of interstellar sadist?
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