Tom Cruise’s ‘The Mummy’ Trailer Looks Like Garbage!

 

Universal Pictures has released the first trailer for its new version of The Mummy, this one starring Tom Cruise and designed as the second part of its revitalized “Universal Monsters” universe, and I have to say it looks much too much like yet another Mission: Impossible flick.

In it, we see Tom and Annabelle Wallis thrown around the interior of a crashing plane. The sequence seems to go on forever in this trailer, so it’s bound to be a major set piece in the movie, taking up tons of screen time. And we already know how it ends: with Tom’s character dying. Bravo. So that will be a huge waste of the movie’s running time.

The Rock Wants John Carpenter’s Help Remaking ‘Big Trouble in Little China’

Kurt Russell (left) and John Carpenter

There is rarely a good reason to remake a movie that was done well before, and there is absolutely no good reason to remake a perfect movie — there is only greed. And so money is the only possible rationale for remaking Big Trouble in Little China, a film that cannot possibly be improved in any way.

Word is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, currently ruling the box office with San Andreas, will star as Jack Burton, the role originally brought to life by Kurt Russell. The announcement was met with almost universal scorn by fandom — which has been spun to be “mixed reactions” — and Johnson told Entertainment Weekly he wants John Carpenter, low-budget maestro and director of the 1986 original, to contribute to the new version:

“I loved reading the reactions from the fans, that they were so polarized – I’m the same way. My response is: know that I come to the project with nothing but love and respect for the original, which is why we want to bring on John Carpenter.”

Drax is the New Kurgan in ‘Highlander’ Reboot!

Bautista

Brown

Let’s get one thing straight: Highlander (1986) does not need to be remade, reimagined or rebooted. It shouldn’t be remade, reimagined or rebooted. There can be only one.

But if it must be done, it has to be done right. With respect.

Director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan is off to a good start by making an excellent casting decision for the Big Bad. Dave Bautista, better known as Drax the Destroyer from last summer’s epic Guardians of the Galaxy, has signed on to play the Kurgan, the menacing barbarian baddie who challenges hero Connor MacLeod.

Clancy Brown made an indelible impression in the original with his imposing size and gravelly, groaning voice, so Bautista has his work cut out for him.

‘Poltergeist’ Remake: Creatively Bankrupt, or Shameless Cash Grab?

Take a look at this trailer for the upcoming remake of Tobe Hooper‘s classic 1982 horror film Poltergeist, and then ask yourself why this movie exists.

From the footage the studio is promoting, this looks like a straight remake — not a reboot and especially not a “reimagining” — so what’s the point? What’s new or different about this? Apparently nothing. So why do it? One reason: money.

First Trailer for Fox’s BROADCHURCH Reboot, GRACEPOINT

One of British television’s greatest achievements was last year’s eight-part miniseries BROADCHURCH, which examined the agony of a small town after a child is found murdered. The series has been transplanted across the pond and reimagined for American audiences as the 10-part GRACEPOINT.

DOCTOR WHO’s David Tennant – who recreates his role from BROADCHURCH – and BREAKING BAD’s Anna Gunn star as the detectives charged with unmasking the killer before the town tears itself apart.

Chris Chibnall, who created and wrote BROADCHURCH, serves as an executive producer on GRACEPOINT and wrote the premiere episode, so he will be establishing the tone of the series. Hopefully he is allowed to keep things as intelligent and emotional as he was on the brilliant original. I’d hate to see that absolutely searing miniseries blunted and dumbed-down for Americans.

‘TMNT’ To Show Up Before ‘Winter Soldier’

Timing always matters, and sometimes, so does placement.

That Michael Bay-produced reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that stars Megan Fox will debut its first trailer in front of Captain America: The Winter Soldier on April 4, according to ComicBookMovie.com. And that has some Cap fans fuming, because they thing the Turtles project is trying to mooch respectability off the Star-Spangled Avenger.

TMNT producer Galen Walker broke the news on his Facebook page:

“Ok-Cool Beans folks! the new Ninja Turtles Teaser will make it’s debut in front of the New Captain America Movie – April 4th. We are ready and prepared for lift off! Been a long haul.”

It’s also slightly (but only slightly) unusual to unspool a full trailer some four months before a film’s opening, lending at least a little credence to the idea that TMNT producers are trying to latch onto Cap’s coattails.

The live-action movie’s cast includes: Megan Fox as April O’Neil, Alan Ritchson as Raphael, Noel Fisher as Michelangelo, Danny Woodburn as Splinter, Jeremy Howard as Donatello, Pete Ploszek as Leonardo, Will Arnett as Vernon and William Fichtner as Shredder.

TMNT hits theaters Aug. 8.

Godzilla’s Got a Brand-New Roar

Hopefully you’re aware that a new version of Godzilla is being made by director Gareth Edwards (starring Elizabeth Olsen, Bryan Cranston and Aaron Taylor-Johnson). It opens May 16, and a very low-key advertising campaign has been gradually ramping up.

The newest bit of promo material is a bit of a surprise to me: The studio has released an audio recording of Godzilla’s roar! Just as his look has been redesigned, so has his signature roar. Have a listen to this 12-second clip, but keep in mind that the first 10 seconds is Godzilla getting angry before unleashing his new roar:

3 Last-Minute RoboCop Teaser Trailers

The RoboCop reboot opens today, Feb. 12, in the USA, and so Warner Bros. just released a final three short teaser trailers to remind you to see the film, which stars THE KILLING’s Joel Kinnaman in Peter Weller‘s iconic role.

With Friday being Valentine’s Day, this Looks like a great date movie, right guys? Guys…?

From Dusk Till Dawn — the TV Series?

Okay, ramblers, I didn’t see this coming: a TV series based on the 1996 George Clooney movie From Dusk Till Dawn, which was written by Quentin Tarantino and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

And, I have to say, it looks every bit as bad as the idea sounds.

Something called the El Ray Network will air the 10-part series, which reimagines the movie and stars Adrianne Palicki, Wilmer Valderrama, D.J. Catrona, Zane Holtz, Jesse Garcia, Don Johnson, Robert Patrick, Madison Davenport, Brandon Soo Hoo and Eiza Gonzalez as Santánico Pandemonium (the role made famous by Salma Hayek), beginning on March 11.

Take a look:

Zoe Saldana Gets Another Job!

In her tireless quest to ensure that no other actress in her age group ever works again, Zoe Saldana (the Star Trek franchise, Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, Avatar franchise) has taken the role of the baby mama in a remake of Rosemary’s Baby.

Mia Farrow made the role famous in Roman Polanski’s 1968 adaptation of the novel by Ira Levin. The new production will be a four-hour miniseries on NBC — which, fresh off record ratings for a reimagining of The Sound of Music, naturally decided the next logical step is to remake a legendary and near-flawless horror film.

This  latest version — which begins filming this month — moves the creepiness from New York City to Paris, where Saldana’s pregnant Rosemary notices a lot of strange stuff going on with her husband, and neighbors taking an unhealthy interest in her unborn child. It’s Rosemary’s baby — but who’s really the daddy?