New ‘Justice League’ Image Totally Fails to Impress

justiceleague-ughWarner Brother released this image to USA Today for its promotional package on “must-see” movies in 2017, and I must say, the gambit totally backfired: This doesn’t make me want to see Justice League. It makes me want to laugh and then feel sorry for DC Comics.

The photo depicts most of the Justice League, DC’s team of superheroes meant to compete on the silver screen with Marvel’s Avengers. Included here are Batman (Ben Affleck), Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), Cyborg (Ray Fisher), the Flash (Ezra Miller) and Aquaman (Jason Momoa) — but the team’s final member, Superman (Henry Cavill), is nowhere to be seen.

That could be because Supes was killed in the abominable Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and producers are trying to keep his resurrection a scret. But I think he’s just hiding because he doesn’t want to be associated with another bloated, self-important turkey that collapses under its own weight.

“[Filming Justice League] was all about the filling-out of this massive comic-book pantheon with the biggest and coolest heroes we could,” director Zack Snyder told the newspaper.

If that’s true, then why did Snyder and his design team go so far out of their way to make sure that Flash looks like walking garbage, and Cyborg a reject from both the Transformers and Power Rangers franchises?

justice-league-group-ughJust look at Flash: His costume appears to be bits of red plastic strapped to his body with wire (or maybe even string). It looks terrible. What is even remotely cool about his look, let alone the “coolest”?

And Cyborg is just a mass of angular plastic all piled together. His comic book counterpart is lightyears ahead of him in style.

In this image, Aquaman looks like a shaggy, homeless wino. BTW, can we talk about how silly it is to have long hair and a long beard when you’re under water, where it can float around and obscure your vision? I thought this movie was trying to make dorky Aquaman seem cool, not stupid. Compared to his grooming problems, the ability to talk to fish is cool.

Not even Wonder Woman looks good in this image. Only Batman escapes pretty much unscathed.

Seriously, if this what Warner Bros wants us to see in order to make a good impression, what does the rest of the film look like?

Unless the world conveniently ends before then, Justice League opens Nov. 17.

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Oh, yeah? Sez you!

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