New Footage Doesn’t Help ‘Fantastic Four’ TV Spot

How does one make the upcoming Fantastic Four reboot seem even less enticing than it already does? I know, it’s a difficult task, but it is possible. Witness this clip, set to music by Mr. Kim Kardashian…

 

If you care, the movie opens Aug. 7.

The Rock Wants John Carpenter’s Help Remaking ‘Big Trouble in Little China’

Kurt Russell (left) and John Carpenter

There is rarely a good reason to remake a movie that was done well before, and there is absolutely no good reason to remake a perfect movie — there is only greed. And so money is the only possible rationale for remaking Big Trouble in Little China, a film that cannot possibly be improved in any way.

Word is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, currently ruling the box office with San Andreas, will star as Jack Burton, the role originally brought to life by Kurt Russell. The announcement was met with almost universal scorn by fandom — which has been spun to be “mixed reactions” — and Johnson told Entertainment Weekly he wants John Carpenter, low-budget maestro and director of the 1986 original, to contribute to the new version:

“I loved reading the reactions from the fans, that they were so polarized – I’m the same way. My response is: know that I come to the project with nothing but love and respect for the original, which is why we want to bring on John Carpenter.”

New ‘Star Wars’ Film to Feature Red Arm-y C-3PO?

Looks like we have visual proof that December’s Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens will consider the franchise’s trademark severed-limb meme, and this time the victim is prissy protocol droid C-3PO (Anthony Daniels).

How do we know? An interesting soda can was discovered in Mexico and reported to the Making Star Wars website, which posted a photo. On the can, Threepio is depicted with a red left arm, suggesting the limb has been replaced at some point. C-3PO is seen with partner-in-crime R2-D2 and soccer-ballish droid BB-8, however each droid appears to have been pasted into a collage separately rather than the image representing a scene still (notice the sandy background behind BB-8).

It is entirely possible that this is an unofficial bootleg product — which would explain why the can was apparently found in a store south of the border. Officially licensed soda cans from a soft-drink giant are unlikely to leak six months early, but stranger things have happened. If this is a knock-off, it’s possible that the red arm is a Photoshop mistake or a printing error.

But it is also entirely possible that Threepio has been refurbished again. Remember, he has had a silver-plated lower right leg since the original movie, and he blown to pieces by stormtroopers in Star Wars: Episode V — The Empire Strikes Back, so it would be no biggie for him.

Episode VII opens Dec. 18, but you can watch the thrilling teaser trailer and the theatrical trailer now.

New ‘Ant-Man’ Spot Seems… Uninspired

The latest TV spot for Marvel’s upcoming Ant-Man simply doesn’t work for me. Maybe it’s the music — a dull, repetitive club tune called “2020” by Suuns, which feels completely out of place. (I hope it isn’t used in the film.) Check it out:

Yeah, the whole thing just feels… meh. It’s like all the cool stuff has already been shown, and we’ve seen probably the best laugh lines, so what’s left? Apparently, not much. It all seems so familiar. Really, the only substantive new material is the brief encounter at the end between Scott (Paul Rudd) and his buddies Luis (Michael Pena) and Dave (T.I.).

Ant-Man opens July 17.

 

Why the Stanley Cup is the Greatest Trophy in Sports

The Stanley Cup Finals begin tonight, and although my dearly loved New York Rangers will not be part of the contest this time, the Cup itself is still majestic and magnificent — and simply the best trophy in all of sports.

The 1993-’94 Rangers’ names on the Cup

It is a thing of beauty (unlike that… object that gets foisted on the winner of the World Cup) and simplicity (unlike the Commissioner’s Trophy in Major League Baseball), and everybody who wins it gets his name engraved on it forever. It’s not just a hunk of metal that gets passed around each year (unlike the NFL’s Lombardi Trophy). It’s a prize that is imbued with the spirit of the victors; every player becomes part of the Cup, literally and figuratively.

It’s the hardest prize to win, but unquestionably worth it.

Click on the link to see a brilliant cartoon infographic from The Nib that distills the Stanley Cup’s riveting history into pictures.

You can watch the Chicago Blackhawks and the Tampa Bay Lightning begin the best-of-seven series tonight.