Check Out This 12th Doctor Audition Script!

regeneration1This is really cool. A bit of a detour and ultimately pointless (perhaps even dangerous if taken too seriously), but still cool. It’s one of the scenes DOCTOR WHO show-runner Steven Moffat has written for use in auditions to find the 12th Doctor!

It’s not an actual snippet from a real episode, but rather a brief bit written specially to be used in the audition — known in the industry as “sides.” As Moffat himself explains, it’s a scene designed to give the auditioner a Doctor-ish chunk of dialogue and see what he (sigh… or she) does with it.

Here’s how the Grand Moff explained it in Radio Times:

“I had to make up some scenes for the auditions, cos I haven’t written the real script yet. So here, in an exclusive, as a big old tease, is one of the imaginary scenes I wrote. Couple of things. Nothing to glean about what’s coming in the stories – this scene will never appear in the show itself. Also, you’ll learn very little about Number 12 – naturally, this was written before the casting began. And anyway, the scenes we use for the auditions are designed more as obstacle courses than ‘proper’ scenes. Fairly generic Doctor stuff, for someone to spin into a new version of the Time Lord. So, with the proviso that there’s nothing to learn here (won’t stop you trying, I know) here is – sort of, kind of, not really – the first scene for Number 12…”

regeneration2And so here, from Doctor Who Magazine, is the audition script:

INT. TARDIS

The new Doctor is checking out the new body. Clara, watching. It’s been a few minutes, they’re both still adjusting.

THE DOCTOR: Right then, eyesight. Not bad, bit blue. Ears – not pointy, right way up, more or less level. Face – well I’ve got one. Oh, no – French!

CLARA: French.

THE DOCTOR: I’ve deleted French! Plus all cookery skills, and the breaststroke. And hopping. Never mind hopping, who needs to hop. Ohh, the kidneys are interesting. Never had that before – interesting kidneys.

CLARA: Are you all right?

THE DOCTOR: I don’t know, do I look all right?

CLARA: I don’t know.

THE DOCTOR: How’s the face? Seems all right from the inside. Nice action, responsive. Bit less heft on the chin. How is it?

CLARA: It’s… okay.

THE DOCTOR: Okay?

CLARA: It’s a bit… you know.

THE DOCTOR: No I don’t, I haven’t seen it yet.

CLARA: Maybe it’s just new.

regeneration3THE DOCTOR: Have you changed height?

CLARA: No.

THE DOCTOR: You sure?

CLARA: It’s you, your height, you’re the one who’s changed.

THE DOCTOR: And look at your nose.

CLARA: What about my nose?

THE DOCTOR: It was really cute, I loved your nose, you should’ve kept it.

CLARA: I did, it’s the same nose, it’s the same all of me. You’re the one who’s… regenerated, whatever you call it.

THE DOCTOR: Are you wearing a smell?

CLARA: Do you mean perfume?

THE DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose it could be perfume.

CLARA: You’ve always liked that perfume, you said so.

THE DOCTOR: No I didn’t, that was the Doctor.

regeneration4CLARA: You’re the Doctor.

THE DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose I am. That’s going to take a bit of getting used to.

CLARA: Yeah, it really is.

Yeah, the scene is very generic (and smacks more than a little of Matt Smith’s first scene), but the point is to give the auditioner a chance to make it his own. And this is only one of three audition sides, so it sounds like the next Doctor has quite a few obstacles to scramble over on his way to the TARDIS.

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Oh, yeah? Sez you!

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