‘Machete Kills’ Teaser Is Hilarious!

This trailer could not be any more off-the-wall if it tried — but what else would you expect from this Robert Rodriguez sequel to a film (Machete) that started out as a joke trailer in Quentin Tarantino‘s 2007 Grindhouse project? Don’t think, just watch it.

My favorite aspect of this clip is the retro-’70s exploitation feel, chiefly fueled by the gravel-voiced narration. This looks like a fun rental; not sure it’s worth a ghastly cineplex admission.

Dracula Rises Again. Yes, Again. Yawn.

NBC is taking another crack at a Dracula TV series, which means the same old stuff we’ve seen in every other iteration of the story: Nobleman with a secret in London, reincarnated loves, yadda-yadda-yadda.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Henry VIII, The Tudors) seems like a particularly bloodless Dracula, so I suppose that’s something different. But not in a good way. Like 98 percent of modern remakes, this is supposed to hew closer to the source material (Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel), but Darwin and electricity and a secret identity as “Alexander Grayson” were not in the book. So is the peacock network attempting to attract the prepubescent girls who devoured all things Twilight?

Anyway, here’s a “sizzle reel” that’s supposed to get people excited about the show. (Wake me when it’s over.)

Yep, that’s right, I hate it already. Sue me. But I would suggest that since NBC is burying it on Fridays at 10 p.m., even the network doesn’t expect much here. You can sue me, but you can’t be surprised.

(BTW, Stoker’s novel is actually very, very good, and does not benefit from being adapting for modern audiences.)

World War Z Poster Is… Zzzzzzz

worldwarzIn contrast to the action-packed, evocative poster just released for the giant robot movie Pacific Rim, here we have a lousy one-sheet for Brad Pitt’s (very) troubled zombie movie, World War Z.

One would not expect a fight for survival against zombies to be so dull — unless you’ve read the absolutely wretched novel on which this flick is based. Look at all the wasted, dark space in the right side of the poster. And Brad Pitt — one of the planet’s top movie stars — is looking away from the viewer. At least Brad isn’t looking over his shoulder at us, they so many other posters would have posed him. Oh, and those military helicopters? Yep, soaring away from the viewer. And away from the burning buildings.

Something really interesting seems to be going on someplace else, but here we are, stuck on a rooftop with Brad Pitt’s back and a bunch of shadows. I wonder if there’s a fun movie happening… out there in the distance… where we aren’t? Even Brad doesn’t want to be here.

New Pacific Rim Poster Goes BIG!

pacificrimI’m loving this one-sheet for Guillermo Del Toro’s giant robots vs. giant monsters movie, Pacific Rim. I think it captures the oversized, bat-shit crazy asthetic that I hope this movie embodies.

I will suggest, however, that there is just too much type on this image. If they got rid of the blustery text there would be room for another kaiju!

Two Doctors Are More Fun Than One!

grandmoffDOCTOR WHO show-runner Steven Moffat recently revealed a shocker: Matt Smith and David Tennant enjoyed working together on the 50th anniversary episode. Well, why wouldn’t they? From all accounts, the pair are two of the most pleasant, easy-going actors in the biz, so it’s no surprise they got on well.

Moffat told BBCA:

“Matt and David together was quite special. They really, really, really got on well with each other and adored working with each other. It was just properly funny. The two of them together in particular are really, really funny.”

Also, because this is the Grand Moff, he just had to be a bit cryptic when asked if Tennant is playing the real 10th Doctor:

“I’m not telling you!”

First Judge Dredd, now Judge Minty — the Movie!

This is one seriously kick-ass fan-made film. Yes, you read that correctly; this live-action short was created by some incredibly talented (and dedicated) fans. Enjoy it, because we not be seeing a big-screen sequel to Dredd for quite some time…

Here’s what you need to know about Minty:

Judge William Minty has spent his entire adult life policing the violent streets of Mega-City One – and now he’s slowing down. When a lapse of judgment almost ends his life, he knows that it’s time to quit. He can choose to teach in the Academy, or he can leave the city and walk alone out into the anarchy of the Cursed Earth, taking law to the lawless.

“She Said, He Said — A Prequel”… at Last

DOCTOR WHO show-runner Steven Moffat created a prequel to the hotly anticipated series seven finale, “The Name of the Doctor,” but it was only available on the BBC’s official page, so not everyone saw it.

Now that it has been posted to YouTube, more people can see it — but I wish it had been available in advance of the episode, because watching it would certainly have tamped down any expectation of learning the Doctor’s true name. Instead, this vignette makes clear that the Doctor’s greatest secret is at stake. And we all know what a whopper that turned out to be!

Nevertheless, this is a nice character piece for the Doctor and Clara, and Matt Smith and Jenna-Louise Coleman really get a chance to shine, so enjoy…