TRUE BLOOD 5.10: “Gone, Gone, Gone”

I knew this was going to be a nutty episode when Mike Spencer (John Billingsley), the coroner, showed up randomly on Sookie’s (Anna Paquin) doorstep having been transformed into a vampire during the week’s span since last episode and tried to eat her, only to be staked by the conveniently handy chopsticks from Sookie’s takeout dinner.

And things went downhill from there, picking up with the seemingly unnecessary execution of Molly (Tina Majorino) by Bill (Stephen Moyer), who seems really into this Sanguinista stuff, even though he’d never heard of them until a few weeks ago. If he’s faking, he owes Molly an apology. Oh, well, at least her true death proved her iStake contraption actually worked — which I suppose would have been ironic if it weren’t so on the nose (or rather, in the heart).

After that messy overkill, Russell (Denis O’Hare) — who was suddenly sporting an oversized pompadour wig that looked like it belonged on a 15-foot-high statue of Elvis — took the odious Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) out for a Greek dinner, which meant eating an entire fraternity and dancing to Katy Perry‘s “Teenage Dream.”

Bill decided to dose Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) with more Lilith blood and retreat to the control room to film it for… well, actually, I don’t think I want to know what he was going to do with video footage of the siblings high and consumed with bloodlust for each other. But instead of seeing visions of Lilith, they both hallucinated another appearance by Godric’s (Allan Hyde) force-ghost, and he was all whiny and going on and on about how he’d “evolved” — so it was actually a relief when Lilith (Jessica Clark) manifested (naked) behind him and ripped out his throat, painting herself in gore. I found it hilarious how Northman and Nora reacted with slack-jawed, mewling horror, like a couple of church ladies who’d suddenly seen the devil incarnate.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if we were shown Bill monitoring Eric and Nora’s psychedelic trip to establish that Lilith’s blood really did create hallucinations, rather than bring Lilith into the world as a corporeal being. If she actually existed, her image could be recorded.

I’m afraid that the show is toying with me again, hinting that thoroughly unlikeable Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and hateful Tara (Rutina Wesley) might pick up and leave Bon Temps after Tara destroyed the new sheriff in town. If only they would leave!

Speaking of leaving town, that idea led to the best scene in the entire episode: Hoyt (Jim Parrack), realizing he’s about to have a nervous breakdown over losing Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) to Jason (Ryan Kwanten), decided to take a job in Alaska. But before leaving he asked Jessica to glamour his so he would forget her and Jason, and not be burdened by the pain for the rest of his life. Jessica agreed, and tearfully wiped herself from the mind of her first love and contemplated him experiencing first love once again. It was a tender scene wonderfully acted by Woll, and it pretty much made up for the rest of the episode.

Even for the bit about Sookie discovering a magic contract under her bed that sold her to the ghostly floating head she saw floating… ghost-like… in her bathroom a couple of weeks back. Why the floaty head decided to wait until now to collect on the bargain is probably testament to exactly how annoying Sookie is — even floaty monster heads don’t want her around!

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Oh, yeah? Sez you!

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