SURVIVOR: ONE WORLD 24.10: “I’m No Dummy”

If a show has a title like that, you gotta know that someone is going to prove himself or herself to be a dummy. And, since this season is populated almost exclusively by dummies, the odds were pretty good going in that somebody would do something stupid. Actually, a few somebodies.

With Jay gone, Troyzan realizes he’s on his own — and the women do their best to make him feel like a marked man (possibly a little something they learned from the cruel Colton). Troy decides that winning successive immunities or finding the new hidden immunity idol is his only path to success, so he starts hunting for the secret trinket and psyching himself to win challenges.

As luck would have it, this week’s Reward Challenge was the famous Survivor Auction. Everyone was given $500 each to bid on host Jeff Probst’s goodies. Kim wasn’t shy about spending her cash to buy a shower and a peanut butter and chocolate confection, while Alicia and Tarzan blew their whole wads on letters from home. Alicia read hers aloud, making everyone cry, but Tarzan refused to do the same. Troyzan saved his dough to buy an advantage in the next immunity challenge. Christina could have used her $500 to buy it first — indeed, the rest of the women were urging her to do so and screw Troy — but she strangely declined, and he got a clue for $480. Christina, among others, walked away empty-handed.

Clue in hand, Troyzan went idol hunting and pretended to find one, which unsettled Kim and few others, who fretted that if Troy won immunity and had a hidden idol, he’d be pretty much unstoppable. Which is exactly what Troy wants them to think.

The Immunity Challenge was a multi-level elimination involving untying knots, bouncing coconuts off a trampoline, and knocking out targets with a slingshot. Troy’s auction advantage allowed him skip round one, and he eventually went on to victory in single slingshot combat over Tarzan (of all people).

Tribal Council was another one of those shouting matches that left Jeff burying his head in his hands. Does he have a contract for the next cycle? Because if he doesn’t, he just might walk away after this group…

The main event was a screaming match between the embittered and embattled Troyzan and mouthy Sabrina. When Troyzan tried to convince Christina that she’s on the chopping block as soon as all the men are gone, Sabrina drowned him out by calling him “out of control” for having the temerity to speak to Christina after he had been warned not to talk to her. There was lots more back and forth, with Troy ending up being branded a sexist, because… well, he’s man, so how can he not be one?

The truth of the matter is, the strong women running the female alliance did not want Troy to prod Christina into thinking about her situation, because if she did, she would join him and vote out the powerful to save herself. So Sabrina pushed Troy’s buttons to set him off and negate the reasonableness of what he was saying.

Apparently it worked, because instead of voting off Kim, as Troyzan wanted, the girls split their votes between Leif and Tarzan (of all people), sending Leif packing. It was sad watching Troy shake his head as he realized what a bunch of morons he’s playing with. It’s even sadder that it took him this long to realize it.

The final vote showed just how deluded or blind or insane Christina and Alicia are: They apparently think that all six women are going to stick together and not vote each other out because they have an alliance, and then, on final day, they will jointly make their cases to the all-male jury. Seriously, Christina, do you think you’re not the first woman going after Tarzan and Troy?

This episode highlighted what’s wrong with this season of S:OW: there are no charismatic characters to latch onto, and the players are all dumber than the crabs that skitter up and down the beach. Viewers are stuck watching people we don’t even like let alone care about, behaving like idiots.

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Oh, yeah? Sez you!

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