WAREHOUSE 13 2.1: Time Will Tell

WAREHOUSE 13 is back, beckoning us to return to America’s Attic for another season of runaway artifacts and the agents who live to “Snag it, bag it and tag it.” It marked a fun, suspenseful beginning to the SyFy series’ sophomore summer.

The most shocking aspect of the second-season premiere was not that Artie survived certain incineration in the wake of last season’s cliff-hanger finale, but the way he survived: He used the Phoenix charm to resurrect himself literally from ashes, just like the mythical bird. The downside, of course, is that someone else had to die in his place. When you think about it, that is a supremely selfish decision. Granted, Artie (Saul Rubinek) had to make the call in a split-second under the extreme duress of having a huge fireball bearing down on him, but still… I suppose he was weighing his value as caretaker of the warehouse and balancing that against some unknown person, but he had to know there was a chance Pete (Eddie McClintock) or Myka (Joanne Kelly) could have fallen victim, since it wasn’t established that they had touched the amulet. In fact, Pete’s coughing fit clearly implied that Artie and Myka thought he could die. Needless to say, I was thrilled that our friends all dodged the Reaper. I’m not saying it turned out all right just because a bit player bit the dust. Do you think you’re more important than your boss’ chauffeur?
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MAKE IT OR BREAK IT 2.2: All or nothing

Merci-fully, MAKE IT OR BREAK IT did not drag out the French invitational storyline. Just a week after being named to the national team for the special event, the ladies were sent to Calais this week, which proved to be the site of triumph and heartbreak for the girls from The Rock.

Lauren (Cassie Scerbo) was upset about going to France as an alternate, so her father, Steve (Anthony Starke) challenged her to do better. Instead, she did her worst: She waged psychological warfare on her teammates on two fronts. Lauren tormented Kaylie (Josie Loren) by talking about how happy she is with Carter (Zachary Burr Abel), emphasizing that they are having sex. Kaylie wanted to focus on the meet, but we could tell she was rattled. Then Lauren went to work on Emily (Chelsea Hobbs), needling her about Damon (Johnny Pacar) being in nearby Paris with Green Day – and tons of groupies. “As far as he knows, you blew him off,” Lauren hissed. Lauren’s twin objectives were to get Emily to screw up and get kicked off the team, then to destabilize Kaylie so Lauren could win the overall gold.
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